Calling All Angels, Remembering Cole

Mother's Day 2008 - Cole, Drew and Clay.

Four years ago, my oldest nephew, Cole, passed away unexpectedly. I think about him more days than not, but this time of year he is in my thoughts more. He passed away on May 22, 2008. Our family has been blessed with wonderful friends that have been there for us in one way or another.

The song Calling All Angels by Train is my official Cole song. Anytime I hear or see Eminem, I think of him. He had discovered Eminem around the time of his death.

I often wonder what Cole's interests would be today. What music would he like - still Eminem? Through Facebook, I've watched his friends grow up. They are learning to drive, going to school dances, experience teenage love and having summer jobs. Here's an earlier entry about Cole,

Cole around the age of four.

I think he would have continued to be a great older brother to Clay. They would hunt and fish together. Maybe even chase girls. He would still make his parents proud. He would be a great cousin to Drew. He would have welcomed Corey and Joel into the family.

The picture to the right is one of my favorite pictures of Cole. One afternoon, he was at my parents house. I was messing around with my dad's old 35 mm Nikon, and Cole was my model. Most of my memories of Cole are around this age, I think it's because I was still living in Illinois at the time.

The loss of Cole so unexpectedly and at such a young age opened my eyes to a lot of things. My perspective on things definitely changed after his death. Somewhere I read, "Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about." So true! You also never totally know what is causing someone to feel the way they do.

Here's a link to an article that appeared in Buckmaster magazine about my brother Daryl - Cole's dad. It's a wonderful story about what an amazing hunter Daryl is and his real trophy. Click here to read - be sure to grab a tissue.

Update 5/21: My sister took the following picture. It's a memorial to Cole - it's located on my brother and sister-in-law's property. They created it with a lot of the plants and statues sent to the funeral. It overlooks their pond.

Chocolate Chip & Heath Cookies

Fancy grocery store inspired chocolate chip and toffee cookies.

My mom taught me how to bake, but the best chocolate chip cookie recipe ever came from my friend Richalle. Richalle's mom makes amazing cookies - the secret ingredient is instant pudding.

About the same time she shared the recipe with me, there was a fancy local grocery store that sold chocolate chip and toffee cookies. So, my recipe was inspired by the fancy local grocery store.

Pudding and chocolate chunks
the key to awesome cookies.

Ingredients

• Nestle Chocolate Chip Chunks
• Heath Toffee Chips (I use half a bag)
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup butter softened (not melted)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 3/4 brown sugar
• 1/4 sugar
• 2 1/4 cup flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 package french vanilla pudding (dry)

In a bowl: mix flour, baking soda and pudding - set aside.

Mix the butter with a mixer for about a minute - I use a KitchenAid stand mixer. Then mix in the sugars. After the sugars and butter are mixed well, add the vanilla and the eggs. Gradually mix in the flour mixture. Add in the chips. Spoon/drop the cookie dough on the cookie sheet.

Bake at 375 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes. Let the cookies cool on the cookie sheet while baking a second sheet ... cool the cookies for about 8 to 10 minutes. My preference is to make one tray at a time using a Pampered Chef stone, but I rarely have time to make them that way.

I use the 'base' of this recipe to make white chocolate and macadamia nut cookies in addition to other combinations. The pudding seems to help the cookies stay moist for several days.

I get about 50 two inch cookies out of this. According to the Weight Watchers recipe builder, they are 4 points each. You could reduce the points by using less chips and substituting for healthier flour and sugar alternative.